friends? lol.
what are those? I’ve never heard of them.
and to top off this great fucking mood.
I just got stung by a goddamn bee.
ranting.
I am 18 years old.
I don’t have a job.
I don’t have a car.
I don’t have my license.
I don’t know where I’m going to college.
I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
I don’t have my priorities straight.
and I don’t care about anything.
even though me and dalton are broken up, I will still put him before you, or my family, or anyone in the world. he will always be my top priority, an if you think that’s fucked up, then fuck off because I don’t care. he’s my life, he’s my world, he’s everything to me. and even though we aren’t dating, he will stay that way cause I made a promise to him.
to all you fucks who’s like ‘now you can sleep with whoever you want’ or ‘fuck someone, it’ll make you feel better’ no. I’m not just going to jump around from guy to guy, I’ve had sex with one person, dalton. and it’s going to stay that way. i am not a slut and unlike most people, it’s hard for me to get over someone. especially my first love.
to all you fucks who say ‘oh the reason he wants to be single is because he wants to fuck other girls and he can’t do that when he’s with you’ he would never do that. so fuck you.
to all you fucks who keep telling me to ‘move on’ or ‘get over him’ shut the fuck up. YOU DONT KNOW THE STORY. you don’t know what we’ve been through or what we’re going through. you don’t know how we feel about each other. you don’t know why we’ve stayed with each other for so long even though we’ve fought like no other. you don’t know us or our relationship, so just stop.
to the fucks who keep prank calling me.
you can’t fucking see me through my window. I am on the second floor so there’s no way. and if you’re gonna keep calling me, don’t keep saying the same goddamn thing.
I’m so pissed and I’m not in the fucking mood to deal with anybodys shit anymore. so all of you can stop talking shit on dalton and I. stop telling me shit I don’t care about. stop, just stop.
#end rant.
you fake a smile all day, everyday.
but as soon as youre alone in your room, it’s a completely different story.
you start to think of your flaws, what went wrong in your relationship, how the one person you want more than anything doesnt want you that way, how you have no friends, how you have no job, how you’re pretty much a failure at everything & you start to think why you’re here in the first place, you think you’re a waste of a human being.
you pick up a razor, and we all know how it goes from there. you don’t cut your wrists, cause that’s the first place someone is going to look. no, you cut your thighs. nobody will ever think to look there, right? all you want is to feel something cause right now, you’re emotionless. you feel nothing. after its all over, after the blood has been shed, you lay there. motionless. in disbelief of what you’ve done. you were doing so good, you were getting so strong. until one thing happens, and you totally break down, you lose it. all you have now is the cuts and the scars, because this isn’t the first time this has happened. and as you lay there, you imagine the smile of the person you love, and everything’s okay again..
gettin that Friday, right under my left collar bone.
whether me and dalton end up together or not, I’ll always have this piece of him with me.
it means a lot to me.
tattoo fridayy !
you’ll never see this.
you’ll never read this.
you’ll never understand how badly I want you.
you’ll never understand how much I really do love you.
I don’t tell you enough, and I sure as hell don’t show you enough, but I am truly happy with you. you’re so many of my firsts, and I’m happy every single one of them was with you. I couldn’t even picture my life without you. you’re my first & my last. I promise you that.
I appreciate you so much, and I appreciate all you’ve done for me the past 15 months. you not only showed me how to love, you showed me what it’s like to be loved, unconditionally. I don’t know how to thank you, and I don’t know how to let you know, because words aren’t enough. I’m a better person because of you, and I could never repay you for saving my life.
you deserved so much better than me.
you still do, you deserve someone who can give you what I can’t. you deserved someone who wouldn’t break your heart. and I’m sorry I did that. I’m trying to pick up the pieces, you just won’t let me. you’ve fixed mine, now it’s my turn to fix yours. I want you, I need you. more than you need me, but I can’t help it. I made you my world & I’ve been trying so hard to make you see that you’re the only one for me, I know we’re meant to be together. I just need you to let me pick up the pieces and I need you to be with me.
ive told you multiple times that you can do whatever you want, cause who am I to stop you? I just want you. every single piece of you.
I love you, dalton.
